MRC Season, Ascent Chicago, Slump
Hi friends. A few people have been asking me why I haven't been updating my blog lately and there's a few factors attributing to that. The main reason is that I don't really feel inspired to write about anything. The second reason is that our playerbase in NorCal has grown dramatically skill-wise and that I don't think there is much I can teach you guys anymore. The last reason is that I've been in quite a slump this season and I don't really feel comfortable writing about any deck that I haven't mastered or put up results with.
This season has been pretty rough for me. I wanted to play Wind Crux at the start, but slowly learned it was pretty poorly positioned. I started to jam Wind Umbra Tristan after that and had some good results. I swept through each locals and even won Tofu's win-a-box tournament and almost had a "perfect week" (undefeated in each of the 5 locals I attend in a week), but sadly I ran into a few counter decks and bad luck and fell 1-2 at Magitek on a Wednesday.
I think this is where it all started to fall apart for me. I kept trying to stick with it, but ran into many unfortunate games. Tristan can be a frustrating deck to pilot because you need to see certain cards in each matchup order to win. I kept losing games where my opponent would rip Dungeon Guide into Storm Slime 2-3x and I would die on the spot while looking for the kill or Veiling Breeze. I would run into the mirror and my opponent would have Dungeon Guide, Reaver steal gas cards like Surveil, Scout, etc. while I would take Sadi, Sable Remnant, etc.. Other times I would be far ahead, but could never find the board wipes for the tokens or any Masterminds or Shadowstrikes.
My confidence took a nosedive and sadly whether intentional or not, it felt like many people took the opportunity to kick me while I was down with toxic comments and jokes.
Store Champs
I took alot of these negative feelings into the Store Champ season and it ended up exploding back in my face. At Sparks SC, I was on Matt G's Wind Robots after having two strong locals with it and being encouraged by Roomba and Christian that I would enjoy the deck. I ended up with a strong start after making some good reads against Jeremy and Justin's Fire Aggro Zander decks. I match up against Weilun's Fire Crux Hybrid and sadly couldn't get anything going. I eventually fell to Flame Sweeps, Ghosts of Pendragons, and The Majestic Spirit. It's really frustrating playing a match where you feel like you really can't make any plays then your opponent hits their inevitability point and crushes you. Unfortunately, Weilun loses to Christian on Wind Diana in the finals and sort of proves to me that my gameplan was incorrect.
I'm pretty upset for many reasons that I will elaborate on later. I'm at a point where I want to just quit the game and start to offer to sell my collection to anyone at the store. I head home and throw all of my GA stuff into the closet, ready to never see it again. My wife agrees with me that I probably need a break and should definitely not go to CardArt's SC the next day.
So anyways, I go to CardArt's SC the next day. I grab my Wind Robots deck out of the closet and show up on a path of self-destruction. I wanted someone to truly give me a reason to quit this game. I match up against Eustace round 1. He's on Fire Slimes which is a good matchup for me. I kill him quickly game 1, but I brick game 2. I also brick in game 3 and he eventually closes it out with Storm Slime. Surprisingly, I don't feel bad at all because he beat me fair and square. I'm already eliminated at this point, but I decide to keep playing. I beat Nico and the mirror the next two rounds after making some good plays. I match up against Christian on Wind Tristan in round 4. I have a pretty mediocre hand game 1 and he's able to just smoothly kill me without any pressure. Game 2 I decide to all-in. He hits me with a Zephyr. I let a few turns go through, but eventually just scoop. Shawn eventually wins this one.
I tell the TO that I'm dropping which marks the first time I've ever dropped a TCG tournament. Usually I play it out for experience and for fun. I had made plans to join the boys for dinner to celebrate Justin's birthday, but I storm out and drive home. This time I actually throw my cards and anything GA related into the closet so I would never have to see it again. I leave all the GA servers, social media, and friend groups, ready to start a new chapter in life.
My wife comes home and talks things through with me and I decide to go meet up with the guys for boba to show them I'm alright.
So what happened there? Justin noted that it was a super uncharacteristic move for me to run into a Zephyr like that when Christian had 8 in hand. I had thought Christian was on a build that cut Zephyrs so I thought I was safe. The second reason is that I was so used to everyone going all in on me like that this season and getting away with it. I had the hope that just one time it would work out for me, but it didn't. I realized a big part of why I didn't have fun and why everything blew up at CardArt is because I showed up with the mindset that I was not going to have fun and I wanted bad things to happen. Usually I would be laughing it off for making such a dumb play, but I internalized anger against Christian, someone I deeply respect and aspire to be like. I remember last season I was always happy to go to an event, but I lost that love somewhere along the way. My wife noted that she thinks last season was about me finding success, but this season seems to be about me finding my lost love for the game.
So I was able to reset my feelings and mindset after exploding. I came into the next locals week with a clear head and didn't tilt at all no matter what happened in those games. I played with a smile, cracked jokes, and had fun. I go into Magitek regionals on Wind Tristan because I decide to commit to the deck for Chicago. I win round 1 against Wind allies and face off against Brandon in the mirror. Lots of things go well for me in the early game, but I can't find any way to clear his tokens and go for game. Game 2 he ends up sacking me with a good draw. After the match, I look in my deckbox and see that my 3 Ensnaring Fumes got caught in the deckbox, so I didn't have them for my matches. It would have been a game/match loss anyways, but it was frustrating to learn that I had no way of winning. I win the round after that and scoop it up to Michael in the final round. Steven ends up winning this one, his second of the season, the first being at Final Cut TCG.
I had made plans to go to NorCalTCG's SC the next day. I started the day on a bad foot by sleeping late, not being able to fall asleep, and then having to get up early. I wait for Justin for about 30 mins and eventually have to leave since he missed his alarm. I show up to the store tired, tilted, and dehyrdrated. I play against Wind Robots and sadly miss lethal because I put the wrong card into memory and get killed on the clapback. It's a really frustrating misplay and I start to feel red in the face because I know my brain isn't functioning properly due to the lack of sleep and water. I win the mirror the next round, then run into a Water player. I have 3 games of the worst Tristan starting hands possible. I manage to cheese one game out with Slice and Dice, but the rest of the games I fail to get anything going and spiral into a series of bad plays instead of sticking to theory and gameplans. I forget the proper response window for the activation of Revitalizing Cleanse because I don't run into the card enough and my opponent calls me out on it. I don't appreciate the insinuations that come with it and become increasingly distressed about my sloppy plays. I once again drop from the tournament and watch Christian win his second of the season over Michael in the mirror.
I'm feeling pretty awful at this point. This marks the third time I feel like quitting in a single month. I started to get into a toxic mindset of the world being the have's and have-not's. Our region is super difficult because we have Shawn, the runner-up at Worlds, Christian, the national champ, and now Steven, a rising star. One of them always seem to just take the victory at Store Champs and nobody else can break through. Last season, I felt like I was the main character of my own story and even though I was losing, I was constantly getting 2nd and building up to something bigger. I thought winning regionals and getting 6th place at 3v3 Worlds was me turning the corner and taking the game by storm.
However, I've basically had no success this season and it got me thinking that the skill gap is too large between the best players of the game and me. In my mind, I forfeited the dream of ever topping an Ascent or ever making it to Worlds. I didn't feel like the main character of my own story. It was like in Blade Runner when Ryan Gosling realizes he isn't the Child of Destiny. Everyone so desperately wants to be the Child and thinks it is them, but we have to realize sometimes we aren't the big players on the big stage.
I tried to cancel my trip to Ascent Chicago many times, but I didn't buy the insurance. I ended up making some deals on Merlin's Marketplace so I at least found a reason to go. I had once again lost confidence in Tristan, so I went back to a familiar friend: Wind Allies. It's the deck that put me on the map and I had seen Jeremy and Violet get some results with it in the online regionals, so I figured I might have a chance. I tuned it a bit to be straight up humans with Phalanx Captain so that I would have some burst kills. I went in knowing that my deck's power level was certainly lower than Tristan and Slimes, but at least I would go out my way with the deck I love and that I had been slowly foiling out. I went in with the mindset that I would be hanging out, eating some food, and getting some good deals and with a slight sliver of hope that I might do well because of my "rogue" choice.
Ascent Chicago
I go into the tournament surprisingly calm. I haven't felt that way since the Magitek Regionals. I think because I had no expectations of myself, I didn't feel any pressure.
R1 Nico 2-0 W
R2 Water Lorraine Crux 1-1 D
R3 Norm Slimes 1-2 L
R4 Merlin 2-0 W
R5 Nico 2-1 W
R6 Norm Slimes 2-1 W
R7 Norm Slimes 0-2 L
R8 Wind Tristan 0-2 L
R9 Nico 2-1 W
Overall: 5-3-1
Sadly, I didn't make it, but I was close. My matchups felt pretty unfavored, but I was able to fight through with some good plays on some, sack others, and Slimes felt pretty 50/50. Every game I lost to Slimes was when they leveled to 3, Ethereal x2, Storm Slime x2. It was a bit obnoxious and I was always one turn away, but that's how it goes. I was pretty proud with how I played, most of my losses were because of bricked hands where I didn't find any 2/3 allies. Ironically the changes I made to my deck from the ALC season made it alot more inconsistent, so I might have had a better shot just loading up with 2/3s and trying to bank on my opponent bricking while trying to face a 2/3 every turn.
It was cool playing against some well-known members of the community like Tyler, Taige, and Caban. Taige was so friendly that it felt like playing against my close friends. We were laughing the whole time. I was excited to play Caban because I actually started the game on his Houston Wind Allies List. He asked me my thoughts on the list I brought to Chicago because their team had considered bringing it for the same reasons I did, but didn't like how the Slime matchup felt like a coinflip. Sadly, Caban looked very distressed while playing and it felt like looking into a mirror of how I must have looked to everyone else during SCs.
I'm pretty proud of how NorCal did. There was a point where all of the 7 top tables featured at least one player from NorCal. I believe all save one or two went positive overall and most were in the mix to top 32 until the final round. Three made it to Day 2 and two sadly bubbled out of top 8. Shawn was the lone NorCal in top 8 and eventually won the whole thing. Congratulations to him! A truly deserving champion.
So where does that leave me? There's always that lingering feeling in the back of my mind that if I had stuck with Tristan all season or taken it, perhaps I would have done better, but maybe my Tristan play wasn't solid enough. There's always the chance I brick with it and tilt off the face of the earth again. Maybe it's that bit of wanting that will reignite my competitive spirit. As it stands, I think I will take a step back from competitive play. I've found joy in foiling out my decks and hunting for rare cards. I think I will attend NorCal and SoCal regionals in order to get my participation Sapphire pack. I'll attend 4 Store Champs each season to get a set of the participation promos. The difference is that I will probably drop from both the instant I'm out of contention. As someone who used to love going to every locals that I could, I think those days are behind me.
Our community has grown a lot recently, some parts for the better, but some parts for the worse, in my opinion. It used to just feel like I was going to hang out with all my friends and that I was happy seeing everyone there, but lately there's always a few people I would rather not play against or interact with if possible. I don't think it's a very healthy mindset to go into an event and just pray to dodge certain people every week. Sadly, the negatives outweigh the positives. Some people think they can say things to you without building any rapport and it comes off very antagonistic. Other people that you think are your friends start to show their true colors as time goes on as well. I think it's better for my mental health to just avoid putting myself in a situation that could tilt me and hate the game.
The meta has been frustrating because it feels like the skill floor has been raised and wins feel very sacky and cheesy. There's certainly still enough room for skill to shine through as shown by the top 32 and top 8 of Chicago mainly being composed of well-known members of the community. I do think they probably had to be a bit fortunate in their draws though. Even if the meta shifts, I'm not sure if it will change my mind about the events I choose to go to. I do enjoy Ascents and I hope I can go to more in the future, but my purchases in Chicago might lock that out for a while. I spectated day 2 and desperately wished I was one of the players competing. I looked even more longingly at the top 8 and at Shawn winning it all. I desperately wish I could be there too, but I think the dream is slowly fading for me. I'm very much unsure if I can ever grow to be a great player.
I do hope my thoughts don't discourage anyone else if they have aspirations of the big stage in GA. I believe if you work hard enough, you can find success in this game. I do believe some degree of natural talent is needed, but chances are you're born more talented or at least with more luck than me. One of my biggest weaknesses as a player seems to be my mental strength and belief in myself, but I'll always be there to encourage any NorCal player to help them improve in any way I can.
I apologize if this is all super sour and all forms of salty. With my thoughts about the meta, my feelings about the community, and the issues going on in my life outside the game, it really has me feeling like a loser and like things aren't going my way. I do hope I can find whatever it is I'm missing to reach the next level, but even if I don't, I think I can find ways to still enjoy the game.
Until next time, I hope everyone always smiles, laughs, and has a great time playing GA. Even if my story is over, I look forward to seeing other people's journeys unfold.
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